The good, the bad, and the ugly. :)

My Dearest Blog Readers,

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to care about what I'm doing here. :) I really do LOVE knowing that their are 3,000 people out there reading my blog, from all over the world. Sheesh, the numbers astonish and humble me. Thank you also to whoever is praying for my American tummy. I have my suspicions as to who you are, but really, thank you.

Can you believe it has been a month already?! It feels like it has flown by, but also been an eternity. There are so many things I am processing through daily, about life, love, and most of all, about who I am...

Life:

There's a new favorite. And he's stuck for a few weeks. His name is Robin. He's 8 years old. When I first got here, he was the trouble maker, the one that "made me crazy", he never ever changed his clothes, and I'm pretty sure hadn't bathed in months. He's the one the teacher's would say, "He is not smart, and if you weren't here, I would beat him."

A few weeks ago, I told Robin I loved him. And when he got hurt I kissed his booboos. And when he had to stay home from school because he was sick, I played with him and told him stories. Robin is now the quietest child in the class. He wears new clothes almost daily, slicks his hair back, and puts his fingers in his ears to study when the rest of the class is running around and making Madam Natalie crazy.

They are the joy to my soul.

I miss crying. I know that's a weird thing to miss, but I miss it a lot. Sometimes you just need a good cry. But you see, in order for me to cry, I need a person. It's been like this my whole life, I don't cry unless I have a person (you know that sympathetic voice that just unwillingly generates an immense amount of water in your eyes). This person is usually very close to me, who I can completely trust to see my eyes well up and tears streak down. Usually it was my mom or sister, but there was sometime when it was Nick or Laura or Danielle...I opened up. Now I don't have a person. I don't get to decide...My tear ducts do. They become overactive when I'm around that person. So maybe it's good I don't have one. Maybe God wants to be my person. Maybe.

Jesus, please don't forget about India.

Please.

Daily activities: playing with the kids, teaching/tutoring them, projects for the ministry, eating, sleeping, praying, reading, worshipping, visiting hindu's houses and praying for their families, going to bible classes, and eating rasberry dollys.

Love:

I obsess way too much about my future. Not enough about today, loving others around me today. The other day Charlotte told me that we weren't friends anymore, that she didn't love me...So I chased her all over the house, with a cracker in my mouth and I screamed, "LOVE ME AGAIN!" I tickled her until she looked me in the eyes and said it.

Choose to love.

I'm reading Redeeming Love, the story of Hosea. God never ceases to love us. Even when we are so unworthy of His love. Why is this? I fear I will never know. But I am beginning to understand the bridegroom, which fills my heart with joy.

I'm going to share the message with a bunch of Hindu families on Saturday.

Please pray for boldness.

I really really love cherry chapstick and ice in my drinks.

Can’t wait until Em’s wedding.

I feel like everyone’s getting engaged.

I went to see my first Indian movie, and LOVED it. I think this will provide for good date material in the VERY VERY far away future.

India kind of resembles a heart in my mind.

I’m a romantic, an optimist, I only really like happy endings.

Myself:

At times I feel like I'm running, fully sprinting towards my dreams, and other times, I feel like the laziest person in the world. I wonder why this is.

I catch myself daydreaming about food, constantly. All kinds of food. Who knew how much I would miss it?

I need discipline in my life. Spiritual discipline.

I want my presence on this Earth to mean something.

According to Strengthfinders, I’m very high on the empathetic level. This personality trait can sometimes be hard to deal with in India.

Sometimes, only rarely, I get scared and I feel the insides of me begin to tremble. Then I remember, I have a powerful God inside of me. They tremble at His name.

On Sunday I saw a seventeen year old boy worshipping with everything he had. It was beautiful. So after church I went up to him and said, “I want to worship like you, I want faith like you.” He gave me a bible and said, “Read Hebrews 11.” So I read it. Then he said, “Read verse 6 again, it is the most important.”

Verse 6 said: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

I wake up every morning with the words of Hillsong in my mind. Desert Song is my constant prayer. It rings true to every part of my life. :)

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

With Love,

Natalie Grace Donald