The other day Ben asked me:
“What would you do if today was your last day?”
Natalie: “I would live. Bring as much joy as I could to others around me. See the world. A million things. It’s just so hard to know what I would do.”
Ben: “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Ben: “You only have one chance at this life, live with no regrets!”
Natalie: “I’m trying. How many 19 year olds do you know who quit school, gave up the person they loved, traveled the country, and moved to a 3rd world country? I’m trying to do more than just exist in this world. I’m just trying to search for God’s purpose in all of this. What is he trying to prepare me for? I yearn to figure things out…”
Ben: “Listen little lady! Stop trying to figure it all out. You know, I’m a little jealous… When I was your age my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest everyday for all of the possibilities ahead of me!
Just don’t forget about me when you become a world superstar world changer.”
So here is my response Ben…this is what I want to do with my life:
“I want to set the world on fire.
Until it’s burning bright for You.
It’s EVERYTHING that I desire.
Can I be the one you use?
I am small, but You are big enough.
I am weak, but You are strong enough.
To take my dreams, come and give them wings.
Because Lord with You, there’s nothing I cannot do.
I want to set the world on fire.”
I always tell my friend Kaitlin: I’m really not good at anything… Really. I’m not that smart, not that funny, not that skilled or talented in any area… But there is one thing I know I am capable of. And that is loving.
Since I was just a child, I set out on changing the world. Well, this week was hard. Because there were a lot of bad things I saw in the world. And it defeated all my determination to change things.
But the thing is… He can change things.
And He can use me to change things.
And even though I can’t fix this broken world, I can maybe fix broken hearts.
I can maybe love on people who don’t have love.
And maybe, just maybe, I can change the world.
Not on a crazy large scale,
I can change some hearts.
I can love some hearts.
And maybe they can love me back.
Thank you Mom and Dad for not pushing me to be great at anything in particular.
I am okay with being different and average and not that great at anything.
Just thank you for teaching me how to love.