There are a few things I would like to share with you.
I will separate them into 2 different posts because frankly if I write them both in one it will seem as if I've written a novel (and that wouldn't be good).
I'll begin with a follow up from my last blog.
That teacher approached me last night and asked me to come to his office in the morning to have a word with him.
I was up for a long time praying.
I am really not so good at confrontation.
"Jesus, what do you want me to say to this man? What if he just gets angry with me again? I don't want him to belittle me, but you know how frightened I am to stand up for myself."
I knew that my words could take away his job.
I kept dwelling on my words.
Last September, my words sent a man to prison.
Last October, my words made a man lose his job and have sexual predator written on his application for life.
I was feeling so terrible about it, then I heard a voice deep inside...
"No, Natalie. It was THEIR WORDS. It was THEIR ACTIONS. Not your's. Speak the truth."
So I walked into the office this morning...chai spilling all over myself because of my shaky hands.
"Please Holy Spirit speak through me. Please help him not to tear me apart or make me cry again."
The man sat down and said,
"I was awake until last night. Since I have disturbed you, I have not been able to sleep properly. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Those kids, they want you, they need you, not me. What can I do to be better? What can I do to change?"
"For real, Father, is this really happening? Did he just say those words?"
I was stunned. Then I spoke, I don't even remember the words I uttered, but I know they had weight, they had truth, and they spoke to his heart.
I think I said something along the lines of this:
"I never want you to feel as if I'm judging you. I just want you to know that your words broke my heart. Those children, they are never going to learn if you tell them, "you're not smart enough, you're not good enough..." Never. The beating and the slapping and the embarrassment, it needs to stop. What is it doing to help them? Nothing. More than any education, these children need to be shown love. I understand discipline is important, but it can be done in a much better way."
We came to an agreement that I was going to help change things. I came out smiling, knowing that whatever I just said in there did NOT come from me.